Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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