terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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