Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
