Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I AM VODKA MAN
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
