if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
