did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
