remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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