Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
