i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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