I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize