i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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