.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
