Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
