mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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