my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
