We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
