And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
