i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
