Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
