Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
