you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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