The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
