dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
