just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
