is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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