that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
