I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
