so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
