have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
