look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she smelled like a LAN party
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
