I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
