scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
