I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The adults are the big ones right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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