so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
