I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You've changed since you got that strap on
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
