dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
