It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
