yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You need a sexual gate keeper
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
