So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
