sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
