I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think my moral compass just broke
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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