I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
