As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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