Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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