stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
