Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize