if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize