I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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