you guys were way drunker than both of me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
