We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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