My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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