he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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