Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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