I seem to have left my pride at pride
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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