can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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