I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
