I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
