Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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