Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
