What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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