So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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