Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
