I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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