6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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