alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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