would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize