We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
