I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
