My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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