Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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