I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You can't just leave with hair like that
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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