I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
