The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize