he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
