Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize