I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
