yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
